


Method To My Madness

by anonymousstoryperson



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 2012!fic, Gen, Guess who, Tony doesn't sleep, Tony needs a break, bless him, hes not dumb but hes a dumbass, loki just wants to read his book, technically enemies but whos counting, you know those fics where loki is on earth but is generally harmless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 16:38:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20361700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousstoryperson/pseuds/anonymousstoryperson
Summary: Even Tony Stark, the smartest man alive, can add two and two to get five.





	Method To My Madness

Loki wasn't prepared to see Stark burst into his lair in a shower of debris- not when he was in the middle of a fascinating piece of literature- nor was he prepared for the manic look on his face when he retracted the mask. 

"You-" he pointed with a gauntled-covered hand, "-have a fucked up sense of humour."

Loki raised an eyebrow, summoning a dagger behind his book as subtly as possible. 

"Though I have heard that many times throughout my life," he replied smoothly, "there is usually an even that precedes the statement, and I am unsure what that would be in this instance."

"Don't try and be cute, Nightmare Before Christmas. I've been up for six days straight figuring this out."

He looked it, too. His hair was a mess and there were deep shadows underneath both eyes. And if the armour didn't obscure it, there was likely a stimulant-induced tremor in his hand as he pointed.

"Oh, really?" he asked, relaxing into his chair, legs crossed, "Do enlighten me about whatever you have solved."

"All of this shit," Stark gestured wildly, that you've been pulling lately. The man-sized ducks in Times Square, the money growing on trees in Central Park, every pigeon in New York turning into tiny dragons-"

"They were actually wyverns." Loki interrupted.

"All of these pranks are part of a pattern, a horrific little puzzle you left me to solve. I should have known the anomalies were just to throw me off, but it all fits."

Stark then proceeded to rattle off a long and confusing sequence of numbers, words and phrases that Loki had never heard of before. It seemed to refer to ideas created by other mortals, but was ridiculously complicated, even for someone of Stark's capability.

The mage blinked when Stark finished, triumphant but breathing heavily as if fatigued from his tirade. He almost felt sorry for what he was about to say next.

"I have no idea what you just said."

Stark's face fell. "What?"

"Whatever you just said, I didn't understand a word of it. I've never heard of any of the mortals you just mentioned, nor do I know of the patterns they theorised about. Even if I did, by some miracle, I'm afraid my methods aren't quite as convoluted."

At Stark's empty look, the sorcerer sighed, putting his book to one side and standing. Stark raised a repulsor at him, but he paid it no mind.

"Follow me." He requested, going into the next room and holding the door open. After a few quiet moments, he heard the whirring of gears as the Iron Man armour followed suit.

The room he displayed was similar to his living room, but smaller, and only filled with two bookcases and a simple desk, on top of which was a laptop.

"These-" he gestured to the books on display as he explained, "-are a mix of Asgardian and Midgardian literature. Some of my inspiration comes from amusing Midgardian idioms or recollections of my time in Asgard. The wealth-bearing trees and the wyvern infestation are the prime examples of both."

Then he pointed to the laptop, which stood out innocently amongst all the wood. "If the literature does not inspire me for any reason, or boredom happens to strike and demand instant gratification, I have found a delightful little website that can generate random words and ideas for me with one click. Those ideas, I then match to whatever location I hit here."

He turned Stark to face the now closed door, on the back of which aart board had been hung, a map of New York attached to the front. Two daggers were still embedded in it as they looked.

"As you can see, there is no conscious pattern as you devised, but there is a method to the madness. Understand yet, Stark?"

He faced the mortal yet again, but he seemed not to hear a word. Stark was trying valiantly to form words, but he remained silent.

"Oh, dear. I think I broke you a little." Loki muttered, watching the shorter man flounder as six days and nights of work crumpled in front of the reality.

"There there, Man of Iron," he continued, steering the man out of his home, "I'm sure you worked very hard on that deduction, and whatever you said was surely impressive. You did a marvellous job and your effort was commendable. I may even inspire my next work on that questionable nickname you just gave me, once I figure out what in the Nine you were referring to."

They reached the hole Stark had blown in Loki's wall, the latter sending him away in a swirl of green, hopefully to get some rest.


End file.
